


fucking shit letter

by samui_sakura (sammie_s43073)



Category: RSDS
Genre: None - Freeform, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:40:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26472763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammie_s43073/pseuds/samui_sakura
Summary: just rants
Relationships: None
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	fucking shit letter

Asta: I'll take over as translator because Wyn's busy with the shoot.

  
Here's Eomer's letter.

***

  
Cy, 

  
I am sorry I have ignored you recently.  
To say that I am confused and angry would be an understatement.  
Yes, it was your choice to not have told me about your sordid past, but to me it felt like spit on my cheek. There I was calling you my best friend and yet I never really knew you.

  
Who was that really that I had become friends with?  
How would I know that who you are now isn't just an ill-fitting person suit, trying to disguise the real one under it?

  
I feel so powerless.  
I fell for you trying to fix you (a part of you) knowing you were deeply hurt.  
But I never really had a chance, did I? Now I know why.

  
I just wish I had been aware that it was all a futuile struggle. I laid out my heart and soul to you, and I had been left raw and bleeding. 

  
Still, this is just me being a totally selfish fuck.  
This is just me being a fixer-upper AGAIN.  
I have no right to blame you for hiding that ugly story. You WERE a victim, for fuck's sake. So you’re allowed to hate me for thinking that.

So here's the crux of this dumbassery of mine. I still want you to heal, to be able to see how beautiful your soul is. Because that is true. You just need to see YOU through our eyes.

  
You have done shitty stuff - well, who wouldn't have after all that? And who fucking cares? I don't. More people have done fucking worse, for god's sake, Cy.

  
***

Wyn: Ako muna... may Tagalog eh....

***

  
To say you're worse than all the stupid fucks out there is dumb. Did you murder anybody? Drugged and abused anyone? Sold a human, a child? Had a hand in genocide?

  
No.

  
**SO SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH THAT YOU ARE WORSE THAN OTHERS BULLSHIT.**

  
And why are you less deserving of love than the fuckers who abused you? Because they broke you? You aren't broken. You're here. You got here. You made yourself over and got better because you know you WANT to be WHOLE.

  
To say you're not capable of loving is a lie. Hindi mo ba ako mahal? Sure, that's different from romantic love, but that is a proof that YOU ARE CAPABLE OF LOVING.

I don't really fucking know how to end this. I just ranted selfish shit, I know. But I just want you to know there is a reason why we love you, why so many love you.

I wish you would TRY AND SEE THAT.  
I wish you would stop hating yourself.

And if I am wrong about all the shit I just wrote here, then I'd be the happiest dumb fuck out there.

Maybe give yourself a chance. Not with the romantic love shit, no.

  
 _ **GIVE YOU A CHANCE**_.  
SEE YOURSELF AS WE DO - deserving of affection, of friendship of love - because you are.   
Please love the Cy that we love. Please.

I love you.   
I still do.

Eomer


End file.
